So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
