great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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