New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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