I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail