why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
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Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?