I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How external is "for external use only"?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.