I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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