thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
