In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
