Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Houston, we have a blender
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
