Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize