I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize