I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
