it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.