if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night