i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.