8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.