whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
