Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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