i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
