I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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