Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My boob is missing a layer of skin
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
