Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
