Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
