last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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