Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize