just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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