I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
