Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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