Don't you send me to vm
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
