The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
