we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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