how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
