He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
