I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You may now shotgun with the bride
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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