try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
