There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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