she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
