Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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