I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Pants are for mortals
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
