Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Randomize
