Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
