I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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