I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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