I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
