DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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