no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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