Do you still have your period?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
