i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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