What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My ATM looks so different sober.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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