i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
