he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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