Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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