FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
how does that bad decision feel?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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