you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
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I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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