when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
