I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
