Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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