I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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