I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
