you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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