spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
