new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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