My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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