i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
